Coping Strategies for When Life Goes Sideways

Life can often throw you a curveball, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed. That feeling is normal. Believe me when I tell you that your life can turn on a dime. These things require you to develop coping strategies. This leads me to the concept of the five stages of grief.

If you suffered a traumatic experience, such as developing a horrible illness or chronic (and incurable) condition, chances are you’ll go through these five stages (the five stages of grief according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross):

Denial

Denial can come in many forms, such as ignoring the problem and pretending it will go away, rather than acknowledging it. It’s okay to feel this way. If you’re having a hard time simply acknowledging your loss, it helps to talk about it with someone who’s a good listener. Share your loss with a family member, a good friend, or a therapist.

Anger

Anger is a very normal and healthy emotion. Anger is a way of managing pain and feeling more in control. However, most of us want to pretend we are not angry, so we push that feeling away. It’s because we fear our anger will get the best of us and we’ll lose control. One of the best ways to work through anger is to write your feelings down on paper. So keeping a journal is a great way to deal with it. As is talking to someone you trust.

Bargaining

Bargaining consists of the “if only …” and “what if …” thoughts one has after a life-changing event. Such thoughts keep us focused on the past, because you keep thinking that if you had done something different or better, this horrible event wouldn’t have happened. Remember that working through pain is a process that can take a short or long time, depending on how you handle it.

Try to be patient with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over the things you might’ve done. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend going through the same situation.

Depression

Depression from grief isn’t a mental illness. It’s a normal response to a loss in your life. Once you move past the first three stages, you can develop intense feelings of grief that may feel insurmountable. Such feelings can overwhelm you to the point where you want to withdraw from life.

I’m here to tell you that this is normal, but it’s not sadness that you can simply snap out of. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed of this. If you didn’t feel like this, that would be abnormal. Grief lets us heal, and (for good or ill) depression is a part of that. Allow yourself to be healed at your own speed. Trying to ignore these feelings will only make them last longer.

Acceptance

Remember that accepting is not about being just fine or constantly happy. It’s about accepting your situation and what comes with it. It’s about learning to adapt, adjusting your idea of what’s normal, and going forward in a healthy way. Once you’ve taken the time to accept your situation, you can make progress.

Conclusion

Once you’ve acknowledged and gone through the five stages, self-care is essential. Eating the right foods, maintaining some kind of physical exercise, having someone to talk to, and getting enough sleep are all good elements of self-care. Spending time around positive, supportive people who don’t judge you can be beneficial. Don’t take on too many responsibilities, but always be receptive to doing good for others when possible.

This post is a restatement of an article I found in the MSBA Bar Bulletin. You can read the original here.

 

I’m in the process of creating journals that you can download from my Etsy Store. It’s a work-in-progress. I’d be interested in getting feedback on my creation.

If you’re interested in mysteries and thrillers, you may get a kick out of the cover design! 🙂

Just click here and enter the information to get a sample copy of the journal. Please let me know what you think.