Life can often throw you a curveball, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed. That feeling is normal. Believe me when I tell you that your life can turn on a dime. These things require you to develop coping strategies. This leads me to the concept of the five stages of grief.
If you suffered a traumatic experience, such as developing a horrible illness or chronic (and incurable) condition, chances are you’ll go through these five stages (the five stages of grief according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross):
Denial
Denial can come in many forms, such as ignoring the problem and pretending it will go away, rather than acknowledging it. It’s okay to feel this way. If you’re having a hard time simply acknowledging your loss, it helps to talk about it with someone who’s a good listener. Share your loss with a family member, a good friend, or a therapist.
Anger
Bargaining
Try to be patient with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over the things you might’ve done. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend going through the same situation.
Depression
I’m here to tell you that this is normal, but it’s not sadness that you can simply snap out of. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed of this. If you didn’t feel like this, that would be abnormal. Grief lets us heal, and (for good or ill) depression is a part of that. Allow yourself to be healed at your own speed. Trying to ignore these feelings will only make them last longer.
Acceptance
Conclusion
Once you’ve acknowledged and gone through the five stages, self-care is essential. Eating the right foods, maintaining some kind of physical exercise, having someone to talk to, and getting enough sleep are all good elements of self-care. Spending time around positive, supportive people who don’t judge you can be beneficial. Don’t take on too many responsibilities, but always be receptive to doing good for others when possible.
This post is a restatement of an article I found in the MSBA Bar Bulletin. You can read the original here.
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Thanks Debbi,
You mention that walking is one of your hobbies. I find it very difficult with post stroke dystonia in both legs… How far do you manage to walk these days? Do you set yourself daily targets? I really miss the great outdoors…
All the best
How long (years/months?) did it take you to work through the 5 stages Debbi? After developing dystonia….
Thank you
Hi Claire,
I feel like it’s a continuing process, to be honest. But the turning point probably came in 2012, when I became so depressed, it was a miracle I could move.
Thanks for your comment. And hang in there! 🙂