One Honest Indie

“Reject the tyranny of picked. Pick yourself.” ― Seth Godin, Poke the Box

  • Home
  • About Me
    • Privacy Policy
    • GDPR Privacy Policy
  • What is Dystonia?
  • My Novels and Short Fiction
    • The Sam McRae Mystery Series
      • Identity Crisis
      • Least Wanted
      • Riptide
      • Deep Six
      • Law Can Be Murder
    • The Erica Jensen Mysteries
    • My Other Novels
      • Invisible Me
      • The Planck Factor
    • Short Stories
  • For Writers
    • Indie Publishing
    • Blogging
    • Screenwriting
    • Writing Advice
    • Marketing
  • Podcasting
  • Hang Onto Your Work-Life
    • Frugal Living
    • Health and Wellness
    • Recipes
    • Organizing
    • Photography
    • Travel
  • Online Courses
    • Learning for Life
  • Book Reviews
  • Food for Thought
    • Bits and Bobs
  • Videography
    • My Videos
  • Contact Me

Coping Strategies for When Life Goes Sideways

10/31/2017 by Debbi

Tweet
Share
Pin

Life can often throw you a curveball, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed. That feeling is normal. Believe me when I tell you that your life can turn on a dime. These things require you to develop coping strategies. This leads me to the concept of the five stages of grief.

If you suffered a traumatic experience, such as developing a horrible illness or chronic (and incurable) condition, chances are you’ll go through these five stages (the five stages of grief according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross):

Denial

Denial can come in many forms, such as ignoring the problem and pretending it will go away, rather than acknowledging it. It’s okay to feel this way. If you’re having a hard time simply acknowledging your loss, it helps to talk about it with someone who’s a good listener. Share your loss with a family member, a good friend, or a therapist.

Anger

Anger is a very normal and healthy emotion. Anger is a way of managing pain and feeling more in control. However, most of us want to pretend we are not angry, so we push that feeling away. It’s because we fear our anger will get the best of us and we’ll lose control. One of the best ways to work through anger is to write your feelings down on paper. So keeping a journal is a great way to deal with it. As is talking to someone you trust.

Bargaining

Bargaining consists of the “if only …” and “what if …” thoughts one has after a life-changing event. Such thoughts keep us focused on the past, because you keep thinking that if you had done something different or better, this horrible event wouldn’t have happened. Remember that working through pain is a process that can take a short or long time, depending on how you handle it.

Try to be patient with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over the things you might’ve done. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend going through the same situation.

Depression

Depression from grief isn’t a mental illness. It’s a normal response to a loss in your life. Once you move past the first three stages, you can develop intense feelings of grief that may feel insurmountable. Such feelings can overwhelm you to the point where you want to withdraw from life.

I’m here to tell you that this is normal, but it’s not sadness that you can simply snap out of. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed of this. If you didn’t feel like this, that would be abnormal. Grief lets us heal, and (for good or ill) depression is a part of that. Allow yourself to be healed at your own speed. Trying to ignore these feelings will only make them last longer.

Acceptance

Remember that accepting is not about being just fine or constantly happy. It’s about accepting your situation and what comes with it. It’s about learning to adapt, adjusting your idea of what’s normal, and going forward in a healthy way. Once you’ve taken the time to accept your situation, you can make progress.

Conclusion

Once you’ve acknowledged and gone through the five stages, self-care is essential. Eating the right foods, maintaining some kind of physical exercise, having someone to talk to, and getting enough sleep are all good elements of self-care. Spending time around positive, supportive people who don’t judge you can be beneficial. Don’t take on too many responsibilities, but always be receptive to doing good for others when possible.

This post is a restatement of an article I found in the MSBA Bar Bulletin. You can read the original here.

 

I’m in the process of creating journals that you can download from my Etsy Store. It’s a work-in-progress. I’d be interested in getting feedback on my creation.

If you’re interested in mysteries and thrillers, you may get a kick out of the cover design! 🙂

Just click here and enter the information to get a sample copy of the journal. Please let me know what you think.

Tweet
Share
Pin

Filed Under: Health and Wellness Tagged With: Health, Mindfulness, Self-Care, Stages of Grief, Wellness

Comments

  1. Claire says

    11/17/2017 at 10:21 am

    Thanks Debbi,
    You mention that walking is one of your hobbies. I find it very difficult with post stroke dystonia in both legs… How far do you manage to walk these days? Do you set yourself daily targets? I really miss the great outdoors…
    All the best

  2. Claire says

    11/04/2017 at 3:36 pm

    How long (years/months?) did it take you to work through the 5 stages Debbi? After developing dystonia….
    Thank you

    • Debbi says

      11/04/2017 at 4:36 pm

      Hi Claire,

      I feel like it’s a continuing process, to be honest. But the turning point probably came in 2012, when I became so depressed, it was a miracle I could move.

      Thanks for your comment. And hang in there! 🙂

Meet Debbi

Welcome to my writers' corner of the Internet. I'm a novelist, who also writes short stories and screenplays. I hope to share the benefit of my experiences as an indie author with dystonia since 2009. I also post a lot of book reviews, because I love to read and learn new things. I hope to share that knowledge with you.

Click on the cover for a free copy!

Beginner’s Guide to Mystery Writing

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Follow

Categories

  • Accountability
  • Accountability
  • Announcement
  • Bits and Bobs
  • Blogging
  • Book Reviews
  • Commentary
  • Creative Entrepreneurship
  • Curated Links
  • Film Review
  • Food for Thought
  • For Writers
  • Frugal Living
  • Fundraising
  • Hang Onto Your Work-Life
  • Health and Wellness
  • Indie Author Guide
  • Indie Publishing
  • Law for Writers
  • Learning for Life
  • Life Update
  • Marketing
  • Memoirs
  • My Story
  • My Videos
  • Online Courses
  • Online Marketing
  • Organizing
  • Photography
  • Podcasting
  • Poetry
  • Print Publishing
  • Producing
  • Random Thoughts
  • Recipes
  • Screenwriting
  • Serialized content
  • Social Media
  • Summaries
  • Tech Talk
  • Towel Day
  • Travel
  • Videography
  • Vlog
  • Writing Advice

Tags

Amwriting Authorpreneurs Blogging Book Publishing Book Review Book Reviews BookTube Branding Business Content Marketing Crime Fiction Dystonia Entrepreneurship Fiction Filmmaking Health History How-To Indie Authors Indie Publishing Marketing Memoirs Mindfulness Nonfiction Online Marketing Organizing Productivity Productivity Random Crap Random Thoughts Recommended Reading Self-Care Self-Publishing Self-Publishing Guide Seth Godin Social Media Travel Video Videos Vlog Wellness Work-Life Balance Writing Writing Tips YouTube

Grow Your Readership with BookSweeps

Support Indie Bookstores

indiebound

Recent Posts

  • Things I Find on the Internet
  • My Book Review of ‘Organized Enough’
  • Quiet on the Set!
  • You Can Write Anywhere
  • You Don’t Need a Computer to Write

Recommended Web Services

Build Your Website with Namecheap - Get Privacy Protection Free Forever

Web Hosting

Monthly Archives

Copyright © 2023 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in